From a young age, I never truly felt connected to a specific culture. While others proudly identified with their heritage, traditions, and national identity, I always felt a certain detachment. Not because I rejected culture, but simply because it was never a defining part of who I am.
A Mix of Backgrounds, But No Sense of Belonging
My heritage is diverse: my mother is Venezuelan, my father is Surinamese, and I was born in Curaçao. At the age of ten, I moved to the Netherlands. For many, this would create a rich cultural identity, but for me, it never felt like a foundation. Instead of feeling at home anywhere, I always felt like an outsider, not because I was excluded, but because I never intrinsically belonged.
For a long time, I questioned why. Why didn’t I feel the same emotional attachment to culture as others? Why didn’t I have the deep-rooted need to hold onto traditions or collective identities?
Identity Comes From Within
After much self-reflection, I realized that my identity is not defined by culture but by something much deeper, who I am on the inside. To me, culture is just a variable; it can have an influence, but it does not define me. While others find security in traditions, dogmas and group identities, I seek my own truth. I gather knowledge and experiences from different sources and shape my own ideology.
This has always made me different. In a world where most people need a collective identity, encountering someone who thinks completely autonomously can be unsettling. And that comes with challenges.
A Lonely Path
Because I don’t conform to group thinking, I’ve often noticed that people feel uncomfortable with my way of thinking, expressing and living. Society is built on communities, on the idea that you belong somewhere, think certain way and share the same imposed beliefs. But what if you don’t? What if you choose to carve your own path?
Over the years, I’ve seen that people I met both in friendships and romantic relationships, eventually gravitated back to the safety of culture, the system, and dogmas. And every time, a disconnect formed because I simply didn’t feel the same need. This led to many relationships, both platonic and romantic, falling apart.
In the past, this made me sad. The feeling of rejection and misunderstanding was painful. But as I grew older, traveled more, and gained wisdom, I became stronger. I learned that my path is one I must walk alone. Not necessarily because I want to, but because it’s simply the reality of who I am.
Cosmopolitan: The Only Label That Fits
If I had to place myself in a box, I would call myself a cosmopolitan, a world citizen. Not because I have no origins, but because I refuse to be defined by them. I don’t feel at home in one culture but rather in the world as a whole.
Perhaps there are people out there who truly resonate with my way of thinking, who view the world as freely and independently as I do. But so far, I haven’t met them. And that’s okay. For now, this is my solitary journey not loneliness, but a conscious choice to stay true to myself. Because in the end, that’s what matters most to me.
Have you ever felt like you don’t fully belong to any one culture? How do you define your identity?
Hppy trvls ✌🏽